Lump in your throat

For the batch of 06,

Have you ever come across a vague sound, or a song, or a note book and suddenly experienced a lump in your throat, a moment where time freezes and you begin to wonder. It could be "The Rembrandts" singing “I’ll be there for you”, or maybe an old college text book that you found while cleaning your room. The memory of that one moment or a phase in your life which was deeply etched in your mind but lost in the flurry of events since, is suddenly thrust into the foreground by that small something, suddenly you are drowned in a deluge of emotions. And this freshly resurfaced memory begs one question- what changed? Why did things change? Was it inevitable? These questions are usually followed by the “sigh” and the brief stare, the stare into nothingness. You wonder, what happened to all those people who meant the world to you, to the places you knew everything about. And all this while, you still have that lump in your throat.

Most of us go through a phase in life, where things seem to have settled down, settled down into monotony or settled down into chaos. It is during these periods that bonds are formed; bonds, with people, or even with places. That room mate who we knew everything about, the guy who took the same bus as you, the college canteen, the hostel mess (usually remembered for the wrong reasons), the hostel room (usually the place where you almost killed yourself laughing) and the starting music for your favorite multiplayer video game. They become a big part of out lives and as a result of this, we make room in our lives and minds for these people, places and events. We share innumerable experiences with them, we grow up together, to the extent that we know as much about that person as he himself. Then comes the inevitable day when its time to bid adieu. Suddenly all we are left with are memories. The lump returns to your throat.

Well, I may not know much about life; I have experienced it for only a short duration. But I have concluded that when a particular “phase” concludes, and the next one begins, those bonds, even though pushed into some corner of our minds and forgotten, remain. The place which these people occupied in our lives might have been taken by someone else, but in our minds, their place lies vacant. I sincerely hope that this is true, that someday when circumstance permits, these rooms be occupied by their rightful owners once again.