The Ten Commandments of wooing

1. Thou shall be as peppy as a peppy girl on crack
2. Thou shall learn subtle ways to scream out loud, announce thy intentions and tattoo them on the forehead of the one being wooed
3. Thou shall always offer a ride home (or better, ask for a ride home)
4. Thou shall develop a sudden interest in playing the guitar, or dance or breeding venomous reptiles or whatever interests the one being wooed
5. Thou shall never pay a direct compliment
6. Thou shall frequently use the phrases "get lost", "go to hell" and "ya right!", always with a suggestive smile and a sparkle in the eyes
7. Thou shall learn to type faster using a T9 dictionary than the 'qwerty' key board
8. Thou shall swallow the last vestiges of of one's pride, self respect and dignity and forget that one ever had any traces of these
9. Thou shall erase the words disappointment, frustration, grief and pain from one's vocabulary ( and one's dictionary)
10. Thou shall persevere, thou shall persevere, thou shall persevere

P.S. The author has had no success with these, but wishes the readers the very best.
Good luck and godspeed